TERA, the gorgeous action MMORPG, recently went the way of so many of its peers — into the realm of free-to-play.  For all the issues present in the f2p model — and there are undoubtedly many — the one thing I can’t complain about is that it inspires me to play many titles that I would otherwise ignore. Previously, I’d written TERA off as another in a long line of Asian MMOs emphasising pretty environments and countless hours of monotonous, thankless grind. I’m too lazy for that sort of work, especially if I have to actually pay for it.

The absence of the cost barrier did make TERA’s stunning world significantly more appealing, however, and I decided to take a wee peak during a moment of boredom and weakness yesterday afternoon. Peeling back the curtain I found more than I bargained for. Yes, it was superficially pretty. Yes, the quests were uninspired nonsense barely even attempting to disguise tiresome grind. It’s okay, though, because I found something really special.

I made a pug.

His name is Dunderbatch, and he will kick your asses.

That’s right, losers. While you’re out enjoying your pitiful human lives or playing games about shooting people in the face or whatever it is people do with their time these days, I’ll be hanging out in a colourful fantasy land as a pug with a pipe. A pipe! I mean, come on, this is a dream come true. All he needs is a top hat and I’ll literally never need to do anything with my life ever again. I will be complete. A dapper pug. Wondrous!

At no point during my two or three hour journey did this affable scamp drop his beloved pipe. He set a gigantic demon on fire, he murdered at least 80 trees and he almost died only to come back to the place that nearly spelled his death with a massive army of allies behind him, but not once did that pipe slip out of his slobbery wee pug mouth. Now that’s the mark of a true hero, people.

It almost makes me forget how dreary the quest structure is. “Okay, unbelievably attractive elf woman with an impossibly flat stomach, I will definitely go and kill a bunch of trees after just killing them already for you for apparently different reasons. This is not a problem, because I am a pug, and we pugs are chipper and happy to help!” When I see that chubby wee fellow bounding off on his next adventure, I simply don’t care that said adventure will invariably involve doing something ridiculously boring for fifteen minutes.

You know what’s also boring? Not playing as a pug in a video game.

If you do decide to check TERA out and make a pug of your very own — and if you don’t make a pug I will hunt you down and poop on your favourite rug, and I do mean the one that ties your room together — you may want to take a gander at the differences between premium and free players. I confess to being surprised, as they appear to be a lot more favourable than, say, Star Wars: The Old Republic. I suspect that En Masse are putting most of their eggs in the cash shop basket instead of trying to cut off lots of tiny bits of the game just to get more subscribers.

Well, back to jumping around telling people I’m a bloody pug. They seem to appreciate that.