Published on April 5th, 2013 | by Fraser Brown1
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon is no prank
I don’t know what’s real anymore. When I went to the shops this afternoon, I started to touch the cashier’s face and demanded she tell me if she was fictitious or not. When I got home and eagerly unwrapped my packet of cigarettes, I lit one, smoked it, and didn’t even know if I was actually enjoying a cigarette or if I was really in a complex simulation. Is it still April Fools? Are we on the Holodeck. Why does my cheek still feel really sore after getting slapped in the face for feeling up a hologram cashier? I might have lost it.
It’s all those bastards at Ubisoft’s fault. There are unspoken rules, greater and more important than any mortal laws. April Fools features quite a bit in them. But Ubisoft doesn’t care, apparently. It’s above such things, and now we’re all going to have to pay. I am, of course, talking about Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, the April Fools joke that seems to now be a real thing with screenshots. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me that April 1st never ended and we’re all trapped.
Unfortunately, there’s still no official word from Ubisoft on what this is, though DLC seems pretty likely. Retro, synthy, fluorescent, ’80s DLC. Obviously the best kind. Those industrious buggers over at NeoGAF spotted some stuff hidden away, like the delightfully retro box art and some screens filled with neon and explosions
Aussie electronica band Power Glove also released some cracking retro beats which they apparently produced for Blood Dragon.
So it looks awesome, sounds awesome and has a protagonist with the best name, Rex Powers Colt, who is a Cyber Commando. A Cyber Commando, people. It would absolutely make my day, nay, year if this turns out to be a proper, fleshed out experience and not a throwaway piece of DLC.
Absent solid details, however, we’ll just have to comfort ourselves with the titbits that have been discovered. And what marvellous titbits they are.