Published on April 10th, 2013 | by Fraser Brown4
EA is rubbish and people look foolish
Elder Company, Electronic Arts is pretty rotten. Between feeding babies to bile covered shadowspawn, sacrificing virgins and eating souls, the publisher and developer devourer also has some shady business practices. Recently, EA was voted — for the second year in a row — the worst company in America, beating the likes of corrupt banks, destroyers of the environment and organisations that consider white collar criminals to be deserving of advancement.
I actually used to work for a market research company, a long time ago in the days when I was still doing the whole full-time education song and dance, and I did an absurd amount of polling. The one takeaway from this job was the knowledge that polls are only good for one thing: making companies believe they know what people think, when they don’t really have a clue. EA winning this golden poo only cements, for me, how useless polls are.
EA got 78% of the votes, and all that really tells us is that gamers are extremely passionate, and perhaps a little insular. I get it, I really do. The relatively small offences committed by EA are, to many people, probably the worst thing a company has ever done which has directly affected them. But damn, do people need some bloody perspective.
The Consumerist’s breakdown of EA’s “crimes” are written without a hint of irony, yet, when you actually look at them, are they so fucking terrible? There were those who were disappointed by Dragon Age 2, Dead Space 3 and Mass Effect 3. Oh Christ no, one of the biggest publishers of games on the planet made some titles that a lot of people didn’t like? Of course, not enough people to stop them from being critically well-received. They also sold pretty well, too.
The article goes on to criticise their overpriced products and the lack of support EA offers for their games. These are undeniably bad things. EA’s games are expensive and their customer and server support is disgraceful, but compared to some of their competitor’s for this prestigious award, they come across as almost “okay”.
I suspect that most people who voted for EA were either taking the piss, which is a perfectly valid response to a silly poll, or completely deluded. Thus, it’s meaningless. EA isn’t the worst company in America, and polls continue to be worth bugger all. But I guess it’s cathartic to demonize a company one doesn’t like, and I certainly do it myself.
Before anyone thinks I’ve had a stroke, I’m not in any way condoning EA’s business practices or bullshit, especially not after Peter Moore’s response to getting the golden poo. With typical EA spin (spin that makes the company look even worse), Moore tried to put their villainy into perspective. He did this by making a fairly insincere apology, then promptly told everyone how fucking wonderful EA was.
“We’re not the worst, guys, we’re actually the best,” is what he must have been thinking as he beat his slave as he or she typed this masturbatory letter. It’s actually quite impressive for self-congratulatory wank. “The tallest trees catch the most wind,” the letter begins, and it just keeps on getting better. EA’s a victim of its success, Origin is doing really well and is serious competition for Steam, SimCity has no DRM and the absolute best one: people hate EA because they are homophobes.
It’s a company completely out of touch with its consumers. Unfortunately, no amount of polls will change that. Not buying EA’s titles will, be I would hazard a guess that fans of games like Madden will continue to feed their obsession no matter how shitty EA gets.
In short, EA, like almost everybody I have the misfortune to deal with, is rather silly.